would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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