Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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