thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
