I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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