i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
