So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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