I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize