What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
How external is "for external use only"?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
