were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
