I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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