What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You can't just leave with hair like that
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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