Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
worst night to have a conscience
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize