if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
