yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool