I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
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I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
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I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.