Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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