There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
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Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
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Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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