The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
