That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
