Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
