I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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