Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
