hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
