so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
