You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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