thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
