tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
