and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
