Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
