we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
