Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
