This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
