I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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