i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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