mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize