What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
