Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
