Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
