Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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