My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
