i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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