We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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