just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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