i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
