i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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