How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
