Do you still have your period?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
