While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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