I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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