for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
