What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
