i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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