Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
