yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just want nice things and good sex
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
