the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize