DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
