nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
