So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
