dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
