Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My pussy is not your playground.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
