I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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